The employment market in most sectors isn’t a barrel of laughs right now, but humour can be found everywhere including the opening sentences in CVs. Here are a few gems:
I offer mediocrity at its best
I am a lean, mean accounting machine highly skilled at double entry
I am a sales-ninja; a silver tongue serpent who can talk anyone into anything
I am a chatty pregnant sixteen year old
I am looking for a change in scenery
I am anxious to use my exiting skills
i am a farst lerner
I am a chef cum administrator
Life constantly changes, it is a matter of accepting this and learning how to manage stress when change arises
I am seeking a permanent job to get out of debt
To be employed at a salary above minimum wage
Objective now = get a job. Next objective = keep job
My goal is to secure a position that will exploit my potential
Other than a gammy leg I am in excellent health
Seeking a second job to support my shopping addiction
